In a relationship, single & engaged...all in 30min!

Phew! What a day! And it's only just a couple hours into it!

Before I forget...HAPPY NEW YEAR! :) May 2013 be a blessed year for all!

There's this THING that happened tonight...it's kind of a big deal! :) After 4.5 years, Beasman is FINALLY engaged!! :) We enjoyed a fun evening with friends, watched the ball drop, I kissed him & said "see ya"! I, like the last couple years, had told him that if the ring wasn't there before the end of the year, I was gone. :) So, we are leaving, I kick him to the curb & start to drive off...he jumps in & says you can't do that or I wouldn't be able to give you this!!! :) And that's the humorous proposal for Beasman. :) The cool part is today is my parents 31st wedding anniversary. :)

p.s. I hope everyone else knows how to plan a wedding cuz I'm not girly girly enough to plan it! :)

Christmas! Mixed emotions bring about positive response!

So Thanksgiving, surprisingly, went really well...on both sides. So, being the Realist Rachel that I am...I start to anticipate the reality of what goes up must come down. Started out with last minute shopping (on a budget) for the boyfriend. The Eve of Christmas Eve, in the rain, right before work. Nothing says icky & last minute as that! I put on my thinking cap & really thought about what Mr Beasley would like. I think I did ok. I hope I did ok?!
After working, not sleeping, it's family time! Yippee! 😁 As I'm getting ready, I hear that my cousin Andy had just passed away. Now, Realist Rachel is really in rare form...
We arrive at the grandparents & things surprisingly go really well. Somber but not depressing. I think we all realize that none of us are guaranteed tomorrow. There was no bickering. There was no yelling. There was no crying. There were no hurt feelings. Everyone's gifts were heart felt. On a side note, the best gift...a laser pointer for cats. Yes, a normal person would think that was silly. But I am an experienced mother with an infant unlike any of my other children. This laser pointer wears out my infant so that she does not scratch, bite or claw at me (or her older, not as active siblings) when we all want to be sleeping! Score!!! It's like baby Benadryl without the harmful side effects! 😁
Joey & I spend the last few hours before I go back into work driving around looking at Christmas lights (and collecting Waze points). Don't ask about the second part. Some houses weren't decorated, some were nicely decorated. And others were just plum obnoxious! I'm gonna start looking at my friends & predicting what kind of Christmas decorator they are...don't think I'm kidding!!! Can you guess what kind of decorator I am?! 😉
The best part of Christmas wasn't the awesome pink ribbon rain boots I got. The years worth of Omaha Steaks. The money/gift cards. The thermos that looks like a camera lens. My brand new Keurig. The "baby Benadryl". Or the countless other heart-felt gifts. The best gift was being around family. Not bickering. Not being scorned (or as they call it, "loving you enough to want the best for you"). Not being told I'm fat (hey, dodo, I look in the mirror EVERY day...I know what I look like). Watching "brothers" smile. Watching the kids (big & small) play with a brand new train set.
Your health is a blessing. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Love the ones that make you crazy.

Birthday Week 2012

Had a great week with family, friends & the dentist. Yes, the dentist. I'm pretty sure I'm paying his way to Haiti. Seriously! Anyway. My favorite part of the week was bringing Christmas a couple weeks early to kids at Big Creek Elementary School.

There was a few guidelines for the gifts. They had to fit in a shoebox (and not rain boot size shoe box). Toothbrush, toothpaste, soap & washcloths needed to go in the box. And then we put toys in the box. Oh. And only spend $30.

Joey & I picked preschool age boy & girl. Being the pink loving princess that I am, I go all out with a tiara, princess skirt, princess wand, makeup & lipgloss. Got some other small toys. And managed to stay pretty close to that $30 limit. Although I had followed the rules, I felt like I was jipping my girl! All she was getting was a few small toys!

Fast forward a couple weeks...

I had the privilege of going to the preschool room to deliver presents. As I was playing with some kids, my group starts to pass out gifts. I look up & there's this cute little girl with my box. She LOVES everything in the box! She was a mini Diva! :) She definitely got the box she was supposed to! Seriously brought tears to me eyes to see this little doll, going through a shoebox with toiletries & small toys and finding sincere delight in all of it!

All the kids were thrilled with their gifts! Even the girl that got a boy box. Even the girls who had to wait 5-10 min to open their boxes because we didn't have enough originally. Me, I'm in the corner balling my eyes out.

For most of us, we will get several boxes of gifts. And they will most likely be more than $30 in value. And I'm gonna go out on a limb and bet you won't get toiletries in your boxes, either (unless you have a DD that puts soap on a rope in your stocking along with a SpinBrush).

For most of us, we have everything we need. And we have a lot of what we want. We have more stuff in our homes than we know what to do with.

Bringing love & joy to others was the highlight of my holiday season. I will give & receive gifts next week but what I will remember months from now is my experience just a couple hours away from home.

Month of Thanks Day 10

Today, I am thankful for the opportunity to have season tickets to UT football. Win or lose, it's a time to hang out with friends & family. Up until a few years ago, I had never even gone to a game! UT athletics have played a huge role in my family's history and it's nice to be there, in the environment & supporting my team!

Month of Thanks Day 9

Today, I am thankful for a day to run errands at my own pace & not be in a hurry! These days don't come very often for me anymore. Lately I've been running from here to there & back again and there's been deadlines and its just made errands stressful. But today, woke up, Sparked it up & got a whole lot accomplished without the stress!

Month of Thanks Day 8

Today I am thankful for a day to do nothing but relax & clean! Whew! I haven't had a day to do that in SUCH a long time!!! With another hours work, my living room will be spotless! Got the bathroom clean. And the kitchen is pretty much done. Phew! So nice to have some R&R this morning and a clean house tonight!

Month of Thanks Day 7

Thankful for parents that love me when I'm skinny and when I'm fat, when I've screwed up and when I've done well, when I'm cranky and when I'm not. By far, the only family that I can count on for unconditional love.

Month of Thanks Day 6

Today, I am thankful for Tootsie, my newest addition in the Boardman Zoo! This sweet little kitten has sent this house into a war zone this past week but has taught me a lot about myself in the process.

This 2.2lb ball of "meeuuu"ing fur (she can't meow, it's more like a mooo!) doesn't understand why there are 4 "of her people" growling, hissing & swatting at her. She doesn't realize that she has stepped inside "someone else's territory" and thus made them mad. She's just a happy lil innocent ball of fur that bounces around everywhere! "Oh, you hiss at me? I'll bounce around & chase your tail!", "Oh, you growl at me? I'll run up to ya, swat ya & run like the wind!" and "you swat at me, I'll swat back!"

So, what has this 2.2lb lil kitty taught me that I'm so thankful for?! She has taught me not to worry with people that don't like me, my actions and/or my words. As someone with a "strong personality", I tend to get FIRED UP over other people's opinions, their words & their actions. I let them raise my blood pressure, make me mad & drive me crazy! But Tootsie has made me realize it's just not worth it to worry about others'! At the end of the day, who suffers?? This gal!

Not gonna say I will completely stop letting others get to me (some days will be better than others!) but I am making a conscious effort, with the good Lord's help, to change how I react! Even on Election Day. :)

p.s. The harmony in the house the last few days has been nice. I guess the others' decided they were wasting their time being angry & stirring up trouble. :)

Month of Thanks Day 5

Today, I am thankful for answered prayers & unexpected blessings. Just when you think you're at rock bottom, God heals!

Month of Thanks Day 4-What if BCC didn't exist?

Today, I am thankful for my salvation and my church. Today, pastor Kenny asked "What if BCC didn't exist"? Wow. My mind filled with a gazillion emotions and questions.

Would Joey and I be together?
Would I be baptized?
Would I have a great group of mentors and friends?
Would I have taught Sunday school & be a role model for young minds?
Would I be interested in teaching?
Would my relationship with God be where it is today?
Would I even be attending church?
Would I be the person I am today?

Eeeeeek! I'm a "what if" kinda person. But this is one "what if" I don't want to ask! I'm terrified to know how my life would look if BCC had not been a large part of it over the last four years. Blount Community Church is the catalyst to a better life for me. I'm so far from what I once was but not yet what I'm going to be. I am excited to see how else my life will be effected by BCC!

I was baptized on July 18, 2010 by my small group leader. At times, I take that event for granted. I am thankful for Joey leading me to BCC, I am thankful for a great small group leader & friend and I am thankful that I am saved by the blood of Jesus.

I'm thankful that God allowed my path to cross with Blount Community Church!

Month of Thanks Day 3

I'm thankful for beautiful fall weather.

Month of Thanks Day 2

I'm thankful for a job.

Month of Thanks Day 1

I'm thankful for the privilege to vote!

Patience. Or lack there of.

" Be still in the presence of the LORD,
and wait patiently for Him to act.
Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes." -Psalm 37:7

Ok, God. I get it.

I guess it's safe to say I've been rather frustrated lately. Not necessarily with God but multiple areas in my life where I want change. The last few days, I have stated vocally, "I've been waiting long enough for an answer" and "not only has He not answered my prayer, but He's just being silent!" I even went as far as to pray "Lord, smack me up side the head with the answer". Well. I do believe He's giving me my answers...I get to continue to "patiently" wait.

In different areas of my life, I feel like I've expressed enough patience. And I'm not a patient person. When I want something, I want it now. I'm craving change. I'm craving "improvement". Quarter life crisis? Lord, I hope not! I thought I went through that about 6 or 7 years ago!!!

Although I may not act like it, I do trust God's plan. I'm not fond of waiting. And I'm really not too fond of forfeiting control, either. I'm diligently searching for His will in my current situations. And trying to find the blessing in disguise.

James 1:19 says, "Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry."

Guess I need to start practicing patience, control my emotions, keep my feisty mouth shut, continue to pray and trust in His timing.

A City Without Walls

A person without self-control
is like a city with broken-down walls. (Proverbs 25:28 NLT)

As a naive girl from lil old Maryville, TN, I never really worried about city without walls. However, I am instantly reminded of 9/11. That day, those events, those memories make this passage relevant to me. We MUST worry about a city/nation without walls!

Just like an airport with intense security limits us, so does self-control. I think we can all agree that self control & security is necessary tho! An out-of-control life is open to all sorts of attacks by the enemy. Instead of thinking about limits & rules & inconveniences, think of self-control as a wall for defense and protection.

Who Controls You?

I'm having one of those days where I'm just throwing myself into the Word. I need it, I crave it. Tonight's study has been all over the place (oh, the life of an ADHD). Started with a devotional about control. Yep, I need to study more about this! I am not good at letting others control me. At all. And I suffer because of it! So, I get to a verse in Proverbs about making wise choices and how wisdom is sweet like a honey comb.
Then, my ADHD kicks in and now I've hit another verse about strength. And it's also so fitting. "If you fail under pressure, your strength is too small." -Proverbs 24:10. Wow. Slam on the breaks! its about to get deep in here!!! On a day where I have fought to stay strong, I have lost! I have had steam blowing out my ears for the last 26 hours!!! And the whole time I thought I was being strong! Stupid me! I consulted my Life Application Bible about this verse (it dumbifies the Word to a level where I can understand!) This is what it says about Proverbs 24:10, "Times of trouble can be useful. They can show you who you really are—what kind of character you have developed. In addition, they can help you grow stronger. When Jeremiah questioned God because of the trouble he faced, God asked how he ever expected to face big challenges if the little ones tired him out (Jeremiah 12:5). Don’t complain about your problems. The trouble you face today is training you to be strong for the more difficult situations you will face in the future."
YIKES!
Let's readdress that. "Times of trouble can be useful. They can show you who you really are—what kind of character you have developed."
Again.
YIKES.
I don't typically deal well under pressure. I consider myself fun, loving, jovial when I'm NOT under pressure. When I AM under pressure, I'm short, quick tempered & irrational; I don't like me & I sure as heck don't expect anyone else to!!! Compare those character traits with the Lauren that's not under pressure & they are polar opposites! No wonder my favorite ward clerk calls me "Bi-bola"!!! Hmmm. How to fix it?! Guess that'll be tomorrow's study. Until my ADHD kicks in & I veer off from control to strength to only God knows what!

Wait. Did I just give up control over my study for tomorrow?!?! Yes, I think I did! Move in the right direction! Woot woot! :D